I've recently read a book titled Nasty People and learnt about a certain category of people..."The Invalidators".
Have you ever talked to people that appeared nice, felt terrible afterwards, yet not knowing why. Seems like your self-worth was hacked away in the most subtle way leaving you feeling lowly and uncomfortable.
An Invalidator may unreasonably persist on their point of view but rather than attacking the argument of the subject matter they attack you and your self-esteem. They may unreasonably want things not within your capabilities and insinuate blame upon you making you feel bad for being unable to do what they want.
They will try to make the other person feel small/bad so they can feel bigger and better. Their words are to strip you away so they can manipulate you because deep down they perceive you as being superior. Subconsciously in their minds they say "I can't equal them, to control them lets cut them down to size". Have you ever met people with these traits? Maybe you were not aware but you probably have met one or two or more.
The Invalidators uses various suppressive mechanisms to chop away at your self-esteem and self-worth.
They may:
-pretend to acknowledge something you are proud of, then later makes some negative insinuation about it.
-feels out what you think your shortcomings are and then exploits them at your most vulnerable times, all the while using it against you in the most subtle way.
-Make you feel bad about something you had no control over or had no choice over for their gain.
-take accusations that have "some truth" and fires them at you as they are "just being your friend," or "to help you out."
~ Invalidator Friend Vs True Friend ~
The difference between an Invalidator and a real friend is that a real friend will tell you one or two of your shortcomings and then back away to give you space to ponder and consider it. All people awaken at different times and they will respect that. An Invalidator will lay many of your faults out for you and persist (nag) until you feel as big as the full-stop at the end of this sentence.
The difference in a good friend and an Invalidator is the intention/motive. When your friends are being critical are they sincere with you or do they have underlining selfish motives? In the end, a true friends intention is not for you to feel worst so they can feel good. They would feel bad if your feeling bad about yourself, least of all feel good about it. They will want to help you improve but also try to make you feel better about at the same time and respect you, not try to manipulate or control you. An Invalidator will feel good about your shortcomings and point out faults to make you inferior. When you feel insecure, your easy prey for manipulation.
But of course even your true friends are not perfect they may fail to be sensitive to your feelings and can seem to invalidate you too, so before getting all worked up stay calm and at least look at their underlining intentions/motives for saying things.
~ Invalidators Are Slipperly ~
An Invalidator will pick out the qualities about yourself that are most important to you and then tear them apart. If you do confront an Invalidator on what she is doing, she will say something like "I'm your friend. Where did you get these silly ideas?" and make you feel bad for thinking such. Even if you successful make them admit their forms of invalidation they will postpone invalidation until later when you least expected it. If they can take advantage of you they will!
An Invalidator could be friendly for a very long time but when a promotion comes, it's either you or him. Selfishly they will chew you up and spit you out before you knew what hit you and all the while putting on the best buddy act. With the knowledge they you had confound in them in the past they will invent perfectly reasonable points why you wouldn't have wanted the promotion in the first place.
Above are the general traits of an Invalidator. My next blog will be a discussion of an Invalidators invalidation techniques....
TO BE CONTINUED...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Why i became a Vego
WHY I BECAME A VEGO
I actually have many reasons that enforce why i became vegetarian. These reasons range from spirituality to health/physical, religious-related to philosophy, scientific to belief.
But there is one main underlining reason that cannot budge me from this path I've chosen even if all other reasons are striped away. That simple reason i say when people asks me is "it makes me happy". Though there is great effort to be a vego for myself yet, i feel lighter, at peace... and such effort/hardship for that state is more then worth the trade of eating meat....
~ History ~
I come from a background where even my own ethnic community, they quite heavily enjoy and look highly on meat. I think some of yous may be able to relate. On a further note I have always been raise by my father with the philosophy "we have to eat meat to get all the nutrients, these vegetarian are dumb, they end up having to take meat extract tablets anyway so whats the point?". Thus i gained the same perception.
I have been a heavy meat eater since i was young (loved KFC) though always enjoyed my vegetables as well. Slowly i came to have a few friends that were either semi-vego or vego. I respected them very much and realised how normal they are with no real disadvantages... even though i hear much stories of vego being lethargic or do not get enough nutrients or look sick etc.
~ My Turning Point ~
My friend brought up a CD of how what goes on in the meat industry, but he did warn me that even he cannot bare to see it all. By this time i had accepted vegetarianism somewhat, but did not have the "disciple" to hope to practise and still liked meat very much. But I was determined to see...
I watched it and it opened my heart and eyes profoundly.
After watching half, then bits and pieces of it (as i couldn't watch any more). I thought how can i stay ignorant after seeing this and not do anything about it. I realised that even if i can justify my position, yet I cannot bare to see or even want to know of such sufferings and negative killings that go on.
How painful it's cries were as the cow was strung by one leg hanging in the slaughter house and then shot several times. Chickens were hooked by the thousands into a rotating machines and rolled through neck cutters, at the rate of 2 per second. Some didn't even die through it and was further boiled alive to rid of their feathers.
Though there was no intended cruelty within the process...how horrible and hurtful it was to witness...
bah...i can barely write this at this moment....
....
I put myself in the situation of an animal that has to kill and eat it's own prey and realise...i cannot bare to do this and i do not want to do this...I put myself in the position of that cow and realised how terrible such a feeling it is. I put myself in the shoes of the slaughter worker and felt...no i don't want to. How can i allow others to do so? even if they want to ..i do not want them to do so for my sake.
I did not feel right eating meat from then on...
Such imagery and cries manifest every time i had to eating meat.
~ My Resolution ~
Though hearing hurtful sounds play in my head from the sufferings of being slaughtered, as an engineering thinker and one who seeks practicality, i still had remnants of my dad's perception and had doubts on the path of vegetarianism. Yet my heart made me seek otherwise.
Within the next 2 years i did my research and found that, the perception i had been infused with had only been a misconception of my own ignorance. From this i understood it's feasibility and realised, in regards to myself i AM in a position to be a vego.
Why did i do my research instead of jumping in being a vego even though i wanted to from the start?
It is thus true that if your not going to eat something like meat surely there's importance in there. I cannot be something without understanding fully and jeopardise my health, so i put my efforts to investigate. Also i needed time to get used to the idea and slowly ease my way into the lifestyle.
~ Conclusion ~
And so i found my peace and every other good reason that followed was a bonus. Lots of hurdles in regards to my own negative perceptions and external forces were cleared and i am happy with my choice.
Currently there is one disadvantage to being a vego for me
Moderate Inconvenience...
But i don't mine... i wanna do what i can to help
Thank you for your listening/reading/understanding.
PS: Not that i'm some kind of animal rights/lover activitist obsessed over animals but it is my only my choice. I have take no offense in others eating meat as i was a meat eater and i do not feel anything when i see others do so, it just only when i do so.
I actually have many reasons that enforce why i became vegetarian. These reasons range from spirituality to health/physical, religious-related to philosophy, scientific to belief.
But there is one main underlining reason that cannot budge me from this path I've chosen even if all other reasons are striped away. That simple reason i say when people asks me is "it makes me happy". Though there is great effort to be a vego for myself yet, i feel lighter, at peace... and such effort/hardship for that state is more then worth the trade of eating meat....
~ History ~
I come from a background where even my own ethnic community, they quite heavily enjoy and look highly on meat. I think some of yous may be able to relate. On a further note I have always been raise by my father with the philosophy "we have to eat meat to get all the nutrients, these vegetarian are dumb, they end up having to take meat extract tablets anyway so whats the point?". Thus i gained the same perception.
I have been a heavy meat eater since i was young (loved KFC) though always enjoyed my vegetables as well. Slowly i came to have a few friends that were either semi-vego or vego. I respected them very much and realised how normal they are with no real disadvantages... even though i hear much stories of vego being lethargic or do not get enough nutrients or look sick etc.
~ My Turning Point ~
My friend brought up a CD of how what goes on in the meat industry, but he did warn me that even he cannot bare to see it all. By this time i had accepted vegetarianism somewhat, but did not have the "disciple" to hope to practise and still liked meat very much. But I was determined to see...
I watched it and it opened my heart and eyes profoundly.
After watching half, then bits and pieces of it (as i couldn't watch any more). I thought how can i stay ignorant after seeing this and not do anything about it. I realised that even if i can justify my position, yet I cannot bare to see or even want to know of such sufferings and negative killings that go on.
How painful it's cries were as the cow was strung by one leg hanging in the slaughter house and then shot several times. Chickens were hooked by the thousands into a rotating machines and rolled through neck cutters, at the rate of 2 per second. Some didn't even die through it and was further boiled alive to rid of their feathers.
Though there was no intended cruelty within the process...how horrible and hurtful it was to witness...
bah...i can barely write this at this moment....
....
I put myself in the situation of an animal that has to kill and eat it's own prey and realise...i cannot bare to do this and i do not want to do this...I put myself in the position of that cow and realised how terrible such a feeling it is. I put myself in the shoes of the slaughter worker and felt...no i don't want to. How can i allow others to do so? even if they want to ..i do not want them to do so for my sake.
I did not feel right eating meat from then on...
Such imagery and cries manifest every time i had to eating meat.
~ My Resolution ~
Though hearing hurtful sounds play in my head from the sufferings of being slaughtered, as an engineering thinker and one who seeks practicality, i still had remnants of my dad's perception and had doubts on the path of vegetarianism. Yet my heart made me seek otherwise.
Within the next 2 years i did my research and found that, the perception i had been infused with had only been a misconception of my own ignorance. From this i understood it's feasibility and realised, in regards to myself i AM in a position to be a vego.
Why did i do my research instead of jumping in being a vego even though i wanted to from the start?
It is thus true that if your not going to eat something like meat surely there's importance in there. I cannot be something without understanding fully and jeopardise my health, so i put my efforts to investigate. Also i needed time to get used to the idea and slowly ease my way into the lifestyle.
~ Conclusion ~
And so i found my peace and every other good reason that followed was a bonus. Lots of hurdles in regards to my own negative perceptions and external forces were cleared and i am happy with my choice.
Currently there is one disadvantage to being a vego for me
Moderate Inconvenience...
But i don't mine... i wanna do what i can to help
Thank you for your listening/reading/understanding.
PS: Not that i'm some kind of animal rights/lover activitist obsessed over animals but it is my only my choice. I have take no offense in others eating meat as i was a meat eater and i do not feel anything when i see others do so, it just only when i do so.
Monday, December 24, 2007
The Avatar - 70 Years Later
A Hearty Hello Everybody ,
I Wish all a Very Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year......
I Wish all a Very Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year......
What can i say....another year and another year to come. Lets aspire to manifest our love to all sorts of forms of humanly existence. Best wishes and may your lives prosper with fortune and happiness.
Here's a question, what do you get if you cross Carl Baron, my all time favorite australian comedian...
.......with "The Avatar - The last Airbender" One of my favorite kids cartoon produced by nickelodeon for kids ages 9-14???????? (Just cause i'm older doesn't mean i can't be young at heart!).
I'll tell you what you get...you get.... "the Avatar......70 years later"
This is a small sketch i made inspired by my favorite comedian, since he is quite bald i thought it would be funny to convert him into the next Avatar.
If your one not too fussed or prideful about enjoying a kids cartoon this is quite a good animation. Here's a preview.
Carl Baron is one of the funniest australian comedy ever to grace the public since Paul Kelly and Gandhi, wondering who he is? Check him out on youtube.
Peace out!
Friday, November 30, 2007
I'm Back in Action - Primary School Cover
Damn..........
It's been almost a year since i have updated this "galleric" blog..... i've been as busy as batman in gotham city and it's nasty.
One year minus 13 days has elapse and many many things have eventuated in my life....Unfortunately i have a memory as good as a 80 year old with Alzheimer so remembering anything during this year is a feat in itself.
What can say....no i haven't been drawing much, engineering work in a high speed environment that never sleeps takes a toll out of a chuck of ur lively existence.
I guess i can't leave this entry without some sort of picture to post, so i'll put up this low quality work. It was a quick job for someone i know.......
If you must know yes the person i know is the one in the middle....enough said.
I know its not great and i never ended up finishing this as she required it before i could...nevertheless it did the job and it not to great to go much further into finalizing the CGing.
No i am not a designer so back off. Even something as plain as this is not simple....especially for one who is not very experienced at doing it with the computer. The penciling took 1 day, the inking took 1 day and the flat color and background design took 2 days. About half a week of work and this was the best i can do.
It's been almost a year since i have updated this "galleric" blog..... i've been as busy as batman in gotham city and it's nasty.
One year minus 13 days has elapse and many many things have eventuated in my life....Unfortunately i have a memory as good as a 80 year old with Alzheimer so remembering anything during this year is a feat in itself.
What can say....no i haven't been drawing much, engineering work in a high speed environment that never sleeps takes a toll out of a chuck of ur lively existence.
I guess i can't leave this entry without some sort of picture to post, so i'll put up this low quality work. It was a quick job for someone i know.......
If you must know yes the person i know is the one in the middle....enough said.
I know its not great and i never ended up finishing this as she required it before i could...nevertheless it did the job and it not to great to go much further into finalizing the CGing.
No i am not a designer so back off. Even something as plain as this is not simple....especially for one who is not very experienced at doing it with the computer. The penciling took 1 day, the inking took 1 day and the flat color and background design took 2 days. About half a week of work and this was the best i can do.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Rowan's Art 2 - iSketch Online
HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! Lonz is here yet again.
Curtesy of my magnificent friend Rowan, he has produced yet another wonderful piece for my "galleric" blog.
It his words "It's a little on the... weird side."
In my words "fantastic! you should produce more for me brother!"
With his pictures, it's not about the art or quality but about the feeling and meaning behind it. Thats why it's so cool......
It's a recreation of a drawing he did in the online game called iSketch.
iSketch is basically an online game much like Pictionary, but obvious played on the internet.
It is a game where one is given a word to draw while trying to get as many people to guess that word, as correctly as possible.
Try it yourself it's FUN!!!
www.isketch.net
Now back to the drawing...after looking at this picture what do u think his word was?...i have no idea myself but i'll take a guess and say "Terrorism".
Anyway i'll get the answer off him sum other tyme and post up the answers later
BYE BYE!
-Lonz
Curtesy of my magnificent friend Rowan, he has produced yet another wonderful piece for my "galleric" blog.
It his words "It's a little on the... weird side."
In my words "fantastic! you should produce more for me brother!"
With his pictures, it's not about the art or quality but about the feeling and meaning behind it. Thats why it's so cool......
It's a recreation of a drawing he did in the online game called iSketch.
iSketch is basically an online game much like Pictionary, but obvious played on the internet.
It is a game where one is given a word to draw while trying to get as many people to guess that word, as correctly as possible.
Try it yourself it's FUN!!!
www.isketch.net
Now back to the drawing...after looking at this picture what do u think his word was?...i have no idea myself but i'll take a guess and say "Terrorism".
Anyway i'll get the answer off him sum other tyme and post up the answers later
BYE BYE!
-Lonz
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Flexi-Twig Master
Mateys!
Sorry haven't posted for a few dayz....buzy helping my friend with his folio for an interview into university (multimedia design)
Anyway...this a picture i prepared earlier...
Sorry haven't posted for a few dayz....buzy helping my friend with his folio for an interview into university (multimedia design)
Anyway...this a picture i prepared earlier...
I drew this picture like...5 years ago.....(see..i did prepare it earlier .. i wasn't lying)
It is meant to be a drawing of a master and his student. Actually it may just be the same person showing both a younger and older version of himself. Then again it could be father and son "school of twig mastery".
ok i'll let u guys guess first, then i'll tell you what my original intention was.
They are meant to be carrying a short stick or what i like to call em "Flexi-Twig". It's liken to the green flexible stick Chow Yun Fat used in "crouching tiger, hidden dragon" when he was trying to correct Zhang Zhi Yi in her swordplay.
Who needs a sword when you got a green "flexi-twig"!!!
-Lonz
Monday, December 4, 2006
Buddha Palm Travolts
Sups my peeps,
Man i at the rate i'm going i wouldn't have any decent pictures to display anymore......
I should try to limit like 1-2 a week instead of 1 a day.
Anyway this is pretty much what i have to show today so far....messy, unfinished and very sketchy....then again this IS Lony's Sketchpad so don't be expecting any awesome, colored or sexy finished products.
1) I Just don't have the time
2) I never finish my works anyway..i tend to pass it on to others to do my dirty work ;)
Ok this is a characture of my friend Johnny "Travolts". After several A2 pages of full attempts over a period of several months i finally managed to draw him.
And this is the best resemblance i got.......pathetic eh?...oh well.. still good.
If it where possible i'd make him a secret character in a game that u can unlock. After unlocking he would fly around doing the Buddha Palm technique.
By the way this friend of mine is an awesome graphic designer that is almost ..if not...a veteran in the business. If anyone requires any type of design work please do not hestitate to drop it and ask.
I will forward the message to him.
Farewell
-Lonz
Man i at the rate i'm going i wouldn't have any decent pictures to display anymore......
I should try to limit like 1-2 a week instead of 1 a day.
Anyway this is pretty much what i have to show today so far....messy, unfinished and very sketchy....then again this IS Lony's Sketchpad so don't be expecting any awesome, colored or sexy finished products.
1) I Just don't have the time
2) I never finish my works anyway..i tend to pass it on to others to do my dirty work ;)
Ok this is a characture of my friend Johnny "Travolts". After several A2 pages of full attempts over a period of several months i finally managed to draw him.
And this is the best resemblance i got.......pathetic eh?...oh well.. still good.
If it where possible i'd make him a secret character in a game that u can unlock. After unlocking he would fly around doing the Buddha Palm technique.
By the way this friend of mine is an awesome graphic designer that is almost ..if not...a veteran in the business. If anyone requires any type of design work please do not hestitate to drop it and ask.
I will forward the message to him.
Farewell
-Lonz
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